Watching those we love suffer is never easy—even when the happy result of the discomfort is glorious. Twenty-five years earlier I was with April in the delivery room when she give birth to her daughter Rachel. Compared to the delivery of her other children, Rachel’s birth was without difficulty. Even though I knew April’s distress in labor would result in the arrival of a precious grandchild, sitting with her through the process was painful.
Now April was laboring to live, valiantly battling cancer. All of us who loved her shared her hurt. Knowing the pain of our family and friends compounded my anguish. Watching my grown kids grieve especially pulled at my heart. How I wished I could soothe their agony. But, unlike their childhood’s bumps and bruises, no longer could I scoop them up and kiss away their aches.
True, there is One who is strong enough, loving enough, to carry our sorrows. (Isaiah 53:4) It would be like me to slap a Bible bandage on my kids’ gaping gashes and admonish them “soldier on.” It would be natural to tell them what I was taught—be big and brave, ignore your feelings and press on.
When my husband died I tried to detour around my grief. After all, he was happy in heaven. Besides, didn’t the Bible say "This is the day the LORD has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it”? (Psalms 118:24, NKJV) But the Bible also says there’s "A time to weep…a time to mourn…” (Ecclesiastes 3:4a, c, NKJV)
Pretending wasn’t working. Finally, after several months of denying the depth of my pain, I stumbled into a GriefShare class, got honest, and began to heal. I needed permission to cry.
In the class I learned the healing power of tears. Tears we cry when we grieve “contain stress hormones that get excreted from the body through crying… Additional studies also suggest that crying stimulates the production of endorphins, our body’s natural pain killer and ‘feel-good’ hormones.” (“The Health Benefits of Tears,” by Judith Orloff, M.D., 7/27/10 Psychology Today)
Jesus often expressed sorrow. There would come a time to “put on the garment of praise.” (Isaiah 61:3, NKJV) But the best Bible verse I could tell my children—and myself—now was a simple one: “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35, NKJV) Tears are a gift from God to comfort our broken hearts. As we cry, their healing power washes our wounds.